Updated To-Do List, or, the semester ends in two days!

1. Give a presentation on my paper for Renaissance Drama.
2. Finish writing my paper for Renaissance Drama (10-12 pages)
3. Write my paper for 21st Century Novel (haven’t even finished the research for it yet … ugh, 10-12 pages)
4. Finish writing/editing my paper for Development to Globalization. (15-20 pages)
5. Turn paper for Devglob into website.
6. Study and take final for Biodiversity and Conservation Biology.
7. Class participation evaluation (I feel almost certain that I will forget to do this)
8. Edit paper for 21st Century Novel
9. Edit paper for Renaissance Drama

All the papers/website are due tomorrow.

I can’t believe the semester is done. It felt like it went by so fast! There’s this weird end-of-semester vortex that I’m currently in, where so much has happened in such a short amount of time that I feel like each wek is worth two, but at the same time I was so busy throughout all of it that it just went by like a lightning flash.

This has been such a difficult semester. I’m really hoping that next semester isn’t as hectic. No matter how much of a workaholic I am, I do like to take a deep breath every once in a while. J-Term will be a nice change of pace; I always like shifting gears away from having four classes to having just the one that I can focus on. And my class this J-Term will be fantastic – Urban Redevelopment with Earl. Wonderful man, fascinating topic.

That’s really all there is to say these days; the end of the semester is pretty all-consuming.

Oh, hold the phone!

I went to a rockin’ concert Saturday night. El Guante, a local rapper, is putting out a new album in collaboration with Big Cats, and Saturday was the release party. There were four other local hip-hop groups that went before him, which were all absolutely fantastic. I’d never been to a hip-hop concert before, and this was a really great one to start with, because I got to see the performance styles of several different groups.

The other really cool thing about the setting was its intimacy. There wasn’t really a lot of space to move around, but it was very easy to get right up next to the stage. For the majority of the performances, I was within four feet of the stage.

And now I have a couple of bright, shiny new hip-hop albums to rock out to. (They make even the most dull of homework assignments epic.)

I might post a video of the concert, once Guante has put some up on his website. It’s definitely worth checking out.

Last week was a bad week for food. I didn’t really go grocery shopping; the only thing I bought at a grocery store was creamer for my coffee. Not to worry! It’s not like I just didn’t eat! I ordered out a lot of food, and then had leftovers to carry me through. In fact, I’ve still got some leftovers from Friday that I could be eating.

With my leftover money from last week, I’m spending a bit more money on groceries this week. Buying mostly stock stuff that’s easy to make and doesn’t go bad quickly, like pastas and (organic) TV Dinners, as I will be leaving for a little over a week with the family. May be leaving on Saturday, may be leaving Friday night, I haven’t really decided yet.

Anyway, that’s the food situation for now. And then next week, I won’t have to buy groceries, because I’ll be at home! Yay!

Today is my really big workday, so I should get back to it.

Brief Surfacing of the Finals-Ridden College Student

Oscillating wildly these days between really content and zen, and then suddenly freaking out and everything being wrong. My moods are swinging so hard I’ve got emotional whiplash.

I blame finals. Holidays can’t come soon enough.

Things I have to do before the semester ends:

1. Give a presentation on my paper for Renaissance Drama.

2. Finish writing my paper for Renaissance Drama (10-12 pages)

3. Write my paper for 21st Century Novel (haven’t even finished the research for it yet … ugh, 10-12 pages)

4. Finish writing/editing my paper for Development to Globalization. (15-20 pages)

5. Turn paper for Devglob into website.

6. Study and take final for Biodiversity and Conservation Biology.

7. Class participation evaluation (I feel almost certain that I will forget to do this)

… that’s a shorter list than I thought it would be. Awesome!

Only problem is that it’s full of things that are kind of large … damn. Oh well. I will get it all done; I always do. The papers are all due a week from tomorrow, the final is on Wednesday.

There are also some personal life things that I need to take care of before I can go home for the holidays. Aiming to leave the cities a week from Saturday, and will get a little over a week with my parents. I think a lot of sleeping and yoga will be involved. I’ll also probably help my dad out at the place in the country for a while (working off some debt …).

Stressed about money these days, particularly feeling guilty about not being financially independent, and wanting to take the load off of my parents a little bit. Also on a really strict budget, and sticking to it, but that means it’s kind of hard to have a social life that doesn’t involve watching a lot of movies that I already own or on my Netflix streaming, knitting, and cooking.

Not that those things aren’t desirable, it’s just that … yeah, I can’t see concerts, go to a movie, or eat out more than twice a week. (this wouldn’t be a problem if so many things with friends didn’t involve food …) I’ve discovered that most of the time, eating out averages about $10. Murrrrrr. Problem.

Exhausted now. Bedtime.

Thanksgiving Love and Food

x-posted from Hamline SPROUT

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I hope your first weeks of the challenge have been good (collectively). This week has been really great for me – I was able to spend some time with the family, eating really good food and relaxing away from the rush of city life.

Thanksgiving has always been the biggest holiday for my family. My parents got married the week of Thanksgiving, and so two days before her wedding, my mom cooked a giant feast for both sides of the family. Since then, it has been one of the most important holidays my parents and I celebrate. This year, we had a fairly small crew, with only eleven of us around the table. (Usually we have around 15 or 16.)

I learned my passion for good food from my parents. I was the kid, growing up, that just wanted a burger from McDonald’s instead of all the (really good) food my parents would make for me on a regular basis. Now, thankfully, that has completely reversed, as I’ve come to understand the reasons why food is important.

My understanding of food issues and hunger has evolved as I’ve come to place myself in this world of politics, ethics, and social justice. I learned in high school that what I put in my mouth is so much more than its taste.

That still didn’t change the fact that, when I went off to college, I thought more about quantity of what I was eating than quality. I wanted to get food that tasted as good as possible that cost as little as possible. And that’s definitely understandable; I am not, in any way, saying that for some, quantity may be more of a consideration than quality. That is something that should be weighed personally.

And isn’t that the whole point of this challenge? To figure out how different people, with different economic backgrounds, and different living situations, can incorporate aspects of organic/sustainable living into their lives without sacrificing too much.

Personally, I have come to prioritize food in my life. Cooking is something I enjoy, and something that has a more lasting satisfaction for me than other experiences. Cooking for myself really makes me appreciate when I eat out, or don’t have to cook for myself, or when I splurge and make popcorn at the movie my dinner.

Really knowing what it takes to make food, to grow food, to produce food, is something I have SPROUT to thank.

… wow, this turned into more of a reflection than I thought it would be. On to last week’s grocery list!

**

Grocery List:

Whole Wheat Pita

Cherry Tomatoes

GIANT onion

Apples

Bibb Lettuce

Raspberry Leaf Tea (Traditional Medicinals – supports the female system)

Yogi Tea – Kava stress relief

Potatoes

Raspberry and Cream Granola

Connie’s Organic Pepperoni Pizza

Total Spent: $37.30

This really surprised me. I didn’t have to buy as much last week, because I was at home from Wednesday-Sunday. I’ll have to be more careful this week. And I’ll also have to make sure that I eat everything I buy.

Will plan my groceries better this week around. Have a great day, everyone!

Wishes and Thanks

Thanksgiving has to be my favorite holiday. I love the fall feast, I love what my family does to celebrate, I love seeing friends. It’s great to have four full days and a half of a day at home, relaxing with my family. It’s even great to be able to get out of my usual homework routine, and push through some difficult papers and spend a lot of time holed up researching and tying up loose ends on projects.

I love everything about this holiday.

Every year, my parents bring together their friends. Everyone brings a dish, and we have a feast of about 15 people around the table.

Because I love this holiday so much, and because I don’t do this often enough, I’m going to give a shoutout of thanks to things I am truly thankful for.

1. Friends. Seriously. You are amazing, and without the loving support of my friends, I would be so lost in this crazy world.

2. Family. My parents are wonderful people, and I am so lucky to be their daughter.

3. A great apartment. I really, really have a beautiful apartment that I live in, and I know that there are a lot of people out there not as fortunate.

4. My ability to eat good food.

5. My professors at University. They have been so encouraging and supportive, that I have really turned a 180 in a semester on my feelings about school.

6. My ability to afford to study abroad. This is largely due to my parents’ saving for school, and also in large part due to my own savings.

7. My bicycle and car. Transportation is really important, and I wouldn’t be able to have the same lifestyle without these things!

8. That Obama is going to Copenhagen. This is cheesy, and super activist-y, but … seriously, he needs to go. I’m disappointed that he won’t be there for the whole time, and that he’s going early (before some of the major talks will be taking place), but at least now he’s scheduled to go. In this world under threat from our actions, it is imperative that our leaders be strong and commit to having a future.

Powers of the world that be, thank you for these things!

**

Now, for the second part of my post: wishes. As the holiday season approaches, is indeed fully upon us, my mother in particular begins to pester me about what I’d like.

Now, I’m a pretty easy person to shop for. I like books. You’re set if you get me a book. I clearly have a lot of interests. But I’m trying to move myself away from a thing-centered life, and into a more relationship-centered life.

So here are some things that are at the top of my Wish List:

1. A new yoga mat. I’ve had mine for about seven years, and it’s getting a little tattered around the edges.

2. A membership to a co-op. I want to buy organic food, but without the benefits that come with being a member, that is hard.

3. A bus card. I feel really guilty about how much I use my car, and would like to support public transportation. However, it’s just more expensive to use my car to get from place to place.

4. Yarn! Or a gift certificate! I like all colors, except possibly pink. As long as it’s a unique color, I’m sure I can find something to do with it.

5. Books, as always:
*House of Leaves
*Dessa Darling’s “Spiral Bound”
*The Omnivore’s Dilemma

6. Some cookbooks, particularly from-scratch or world cookbooks. I want to get better at cooking for myself, and I really want to start making bulk foods – granola, hummus, etc. I also really enjoy world foods, and want to incorporate Indian, Thai, Chinese, Japanese, and Middle Eastern dishes into my cooking repertoire.

7. A traveler’s guide to India.

These are simple things, and sustainable things, I hope. I don’t want too many *things*, I would rather have experiences or things that can make my footprint on the planet less intense.

**

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope yours is fantastic!

Confessional Time with Abbie

I’ve been feeling … weirdly separated from things that matter a lot to me. Either I’ve really, seriously burned myself out with activism, or I’ve had things in my personal life that have taken my attention away from activism. Fact: I haven’t been as engaged with Social Justice lately as I have been in the past. It feels cyclical, and that my interest and passion will pick up again.

Honestly, it’s just that time of semester. I’ve got three major research papers (two 10-12 page research papers, and one 15-20 page paper that needs to become a website) coming up, and after this weekend, I’ve only got … two and a half weeks left? Something crazy like that. So I’m really hurrying to finish things up with those.

I’ve also been too busy (for about three months now) to really focus on my spiritual growth. Not really conducive/helpful to my irritated state and problems with my anxiety. I haven’t been able to actively practice for about that long, and I’m definitely feeling the effects. Normally, November and October are particularly spiritual months for me, but I haven’t been able to engage as well with that particular cycle.

It will be good to get home for Thanksgiving, because that will at least feel … somewhat normal. It’s the best holiday my family does. I just need to see my parents, in our home, and to cuddle with my kitties and a good book (which is incidentally homework …).

**

What else has been striking me lately: How amazing my friends are. Seriously. You guys are great. I wouldn’t be half the strong woman I am today if I didn’t have such wonderful support.

**

Funnily enough, despite all of these strange interruptions in my normal cycle, I’m feeling really at peace with academics. Like I’ve talked about in my posts on research, and don’t really need to reiterate here, I’ve become very invested in going to grad school, and even putting together a Fulbright application. I would like to take some time off, even if it’s just a year, to do an internship and live in the ‘real world.’

I’ll also need time to pull together the Fulbright. Why not get some practical, badass activist experience while I do that? And if I just end up being a barista somewhere … so be it. I’ll write, and I’ll pull my shit together, and will be able to relax for a bit.

Mmm, really excited about going home tomorrow. Bought two plain black shirts at Target today – one is a cowl-neck shirt, the other is a turtleneck. Thay make me feel wonderful. Will be wearing one of them tomorrow, methinks. I need to feel sexy post-almost-break-up. There might even be maneater red lipstick involved.

Did I mention that tomorrow consists of me going to class, and then home, to do homework and cuddle with my cats and parents? Yeah. I’m dressing up for that shit.

End dorkhood. Sleep time now, yes.

Cool Monday

It’s been FOREVER since there was a cool Monday post, but I just had to share this.

I really hope my roommate is okay with the fact that that’s going on the wall in our bathroom. But let’s be real; who WOULDN’T be okay with that?

My Challenge

\

The Challenge: I will be buying all organic (or local, sustainable, whatever you want to call it) groceries on a limited budget. This budget will start high, and then I will gradually readjust it. I will attempt to spend as little money as possible, and every week will post a recipe, my grocery list (with prices), and talk about what has worked and what hasn’t worked.

For now, my budget is $45 a week. I will work it down to an even more thrifty budget if possible. This budget is for food, so it does include eating out. If I buy too many groceries to feasibly eat out, I’ll take money from my “fun” budget. My goal is to make my trips to the co-op for the week around $30.

Plans to Meet the Challenge: I will make two large meals a week, and save the leftovers. I will also make my own bread/bagels/other baked goods. I’m going to drastically cut back on the amount of meat that I consume. Whenever possible, I will buy in bulk (grains, seeds, granola, etc.) and make things from scratch, with enough for leftovers for at least a week. I will also eat all of the food that I purchase, rather than letting anything go to waste.

Let’s do this! I’m excited!

x-posted from SPROUT’s blog

Unexpected Encouragement

I quit my job in the costume shop this week. It’s been coming for a while – I’m just too busy with non-profit and school stuff to really do it anymore. I had to go in to visit the technical director to turn in my keys, and he sat me down and asked “So, how are you going to pay the bills?”

Unexpectedly, we got into a long conversation about my academic goals and interests, as well as my interests outside of the classroom. He asked me about my research from this past summer, and I explained it to him, and we talked about the fact that I’m studying abroad and what I might study while in India. I told him that I was thinking of using the extended field study from India as my Honor’s Thesis, and he thought that sounded smart.

Blah, blah, blah. Basically, about halfway through the conversation he asked me: “So, you’re applying for a Fulbright scholarship, right?”

Now, this completely blindsided me. But he went on to say that he thought I had the brain capacity for it, and that with my research track record, I’d have a good chance of getting one. He told me not to get too Minnesota-nice and sell myself short, and that the worst they could do is say no. Basically, he seemed to think that with my resume, it was ridiculous that I wasn’t already planning on applying.

Not only had I not been thinking about Fulbright (all that seriously), but I had not anticipated such an encouraging reception. I had also not expected that he would sit me down and push me that much. It was an uncomfortable experience, in a way, because he was basically telling me that I’d have to go farther with everything I’ve been thinking of doing.

So now I’m in a bit of a pickle. It would be best for me to apply to the Fulbright after I graduate (deadlines are in October, which will be right in the middle of my time in India). It would be a lot easier to apply through Hamline, but I’ll probably do that the October after I graduate. This still means I need to start the process right now.

That is, if I do decide to do this.

… but I’m closer to deciding to do this than deciding not to do this.

If I do apply for a Fulbright, I want to have a really, really good idea what I’m going to do. Which means that I need to start hunting down preliminary research topics.

These are some things that come immediately to mind:

1. Study of Climate Change on Citizens in the South Pacific or Bangladesh

2. Study of Climate Refugee Programs or Lack Thereof in Australia and/or New Zealand

3. Documentation and Study of Street Poetry (country pending … I need to pursue this, find out where street poetry is prevalent and why, but it would be awesome)

So now I have to do some preliminary research to figure out how I would go about those projects in particular.

I also need to get my ass in gear for Collaborative Research this summer, as well as what I’ll research when I’m in India. My application is in, now I just need to be accepted to the program … ugh … applications get me nervous. ANYWAY, if I want my research from India to be my honor’s thesis, I have to apply for the honor’s program this spring. Which means I need to know what I’ll be researching. Which means I have to know that really soon.

Despite this being a really bad week (two weeks) for my anxiety, this is all very exhilarating. I think that’s telling about what I should be doing with my life. Apparently research is something I’m really good at, and something that excites me beyond belief. I also really am developing a passion for teaching, and have already thought of several classes I would like to teach and how I would teach.

Who should get her PhD and becomea  professor? Oh, that would be me.

In sum: this has been a crazy week that has shifted my goals a lot. Head is still spinning, but this makes sense …

Peace out, y’all.

Abstract

Wow. Working on my Collaborative Research from this past summer again has been a great motivator for me.

I’m really glad that I decided to apply to go to this Undergraduate Research conference – just the kick in the pants that I needed to really dig into this project again.

Here’s the abstract, for those of you that haven’t read it/don’t know much about the research I did this summer:

Winds of Change? Indigenous Peoples, Wind Energy, and Social Justice

The history of energy development on tribal lands is fraught with confusion and anger. Renewable energy projects face barriers to money and growth, but the barriers are especially pertinent when the renewable energy project is on the reservation. Tribal governments and organizations walk a precarious line between autonomy and dependency on the United States government; due to this ambiguity, it is difficult for these groups to gain access to renewable energy incentives necessary to go through with projects on native land. Making energy more affordable is the goal of government incentives, however, native groups are often unable to gain from the most beneficial of national energy incentives, placing this particular population at an incredible disadvantage, despite the fact that reservations often have massive wind energy potential. This study explores the ways in which three separate native groups have attempted to bring wind energy to their lands: the Inter-Tribal Council on Utility Policy, The Rosebud Tribe’s Tribal Utility Commission, and Honor the Earth. The research was conducted over a period of three months by interviewing those involved with specific native wind projects and others connected with the issue of wind energy, as well as reading legal and political background on energy issues, legal frames, and Native American sovereignty. The goals of the project are to explore and illuminate potentially unseen benefits and barriers that Native American communities may receive from the development of wind energy. Outcomes of the work include several short papers, prepared for publication in undergraduate academic journals, popular magazines, local newspapers, and online. These various papers summarize research and potential directions for national policy regarding development of energy on native lands. A larger paper will be written to tie together these smaller papers, and connect different ends of research.

So here’s my progress so far:

1. NCUR Submission Complete

2. Will be writing a short essay to submit to “Critical Theory and Social Justice”, a new undergraduate research magazine.

I still need to find other places to publish my work. I’m thinking Minnesota Monthly (if I can manage it), some other undergraduate research magazines, and I’d like to get a website so that I could self-publish my “policy paper”/”policy suggestions.” I’d also really like to find some native-specific places to attempt to get another paper published, and perhaps I could get a link to my work put in some Honor the Earth/ICOUP/other native groups’ publications.

This website idea is starting to sound better and better. Hmmmm … this shall be thought on.

Edit to Announce: My abstract got selected for funding! Now I have to apply to go to the conference itself … yay!

LOTS of thoughts on research

This week has been slightly less hectic than other weeks. Tuesday night was my roommate’s birthday, and since she’s in the play, her party didn’t start until 11 pm. Luckily, I didn’t have much to do the next day. As in, the professor that usually gives me about 150-200 pages of reading a week didn’t assign anything for that night.

Unfortunately, I may or may not be getting sick. It could just be exhaustion, and I sincerely hope that’s what it is. I think I’m on the upswing now – it really sucked for two days there, but now I’m feeling fine.

That’s okay, because today is for chilling out, doing homework, and finishing up my Study Abroad essays and editing my abstract for NCUR.

These days I’ve been thinking a lot about my research projects. Last week, I saw my adviser for the Arthur Project (huge research project I’ve wanted to do since I was a freshman in college). She was still very willing to work with me, and excited about it, so that’s an all-systems-go!

The topic of my research is going to be an analysis of queer reconstruction in modern retellings of the Arthurian Legends. Specifically, I’ll be focusing on The Mists of Avalon and The Once and Future King as pillars of Arthurian legend in the 20th century. I may broaden it to include some film studies, but I’d like to keep it to these (rather large) works.

I’m specifically intrigued by the character of Lancelot, who is often read as in love with Arthur.

The other track that I’m thinking of taking with the research is to analyze queer theory as a making of personal mythology, and to analyze the power of ancient legend in everyday life. Why is this particular fantasy chosen? What is it about this fantasy that makes it applicable? Is there a moral ambiguity in Arthurian legend that allows it to have continual revelence? Also, why is it necessary to retell these particular myths through a 20th-century lens, with very clearly queered characters?

To critically address these issues, I’ll be producing a traditional paper (probably just conference length, rather than journal-length). But I also really have this problem with academic research being really ivory tower. Last summer’s project was not as ivory-tower, but this summer’s could prove to be. So I took a tip from a good friend of mine, and will be adding a creative component to this. I’ll be writing a book of poetry! Marcela ironically pointed out that no one reads poetry, and so she told me I’d have to create a blog to go along with it.

Does that sound like my sort of thing at all? Methinks it does.

Therefore, before the summer starts I should really re-read/skim through both books so they’re fresh in my mind, or at the very least find small sections of the works that I can analyze further in the broader context of plot and character development.

So that’s what I’ll be spending my summer on! How exciting!

I do, however, have to finish up my research project from this summer. In my meeting with Earl for advising weeks, he said that if I was personally invested in finishing up that research, then there wouldn’t have to be formal academic acknowledgment of my finishing that. I was able to get an A for the class this summer, and that will show up on my transcript as my having finished the research. I can continue to write articles on my own time.

That basically means I have to kick myself in the pants to get things done, if I don’t have an outside force kicking me in the pants. That means that I’ll have to rewrite my research schedule. I’m no longer planning on doing a media/video project for it, but rather writing several articles with different focuses to be published for different audiences. (That was Marcela’s – the Arthur project adviser – idea, and it was a damn good one.)

I also have to seek out ways to present my research and knowledge.

I plan on presenting on my research at NCUR (National Consortium on Undergraduate Research), if I get accepted as a conference participant. The deadline for those abstracts is today, so I’d better get a move on with that one. I already have a draft of my abstract from the summer, but it could DEFINITELY use some editing.

So that’s today. I’ll just be sitting around, chillin’, and writing my Study Abroad essays and editing the Abstract. I’ve also got a large chunk of homework to do, but it’s not nearly as bad as it has been in the past. And I’m sure there’s something I should be doing for Grand Aspirations, that I’m forgetting about.

Oh well. Time for showering.